Hi there, everybody! You may have noticed that I’ve been gone for a couple months (if you didn’t, that’s okay, too), and I figured I should explain myself, since that’s a pretty long time to disappear with no explanation. If you don’t want to read all the personal, mushy emotional stuff ahead, that’s fine! Just know that I’m coming back, but with plans to post a little less than usual. And if you are willing to read through all this personal, mushy emotional stuff, strap in for a bit of an emotional roller coaster!
(CW: cancer, with a smidgen of depression)
Why I Left:
Okay, so there’s a lot going on here. I had planned to take March off to catch up on some reading, and take care of some stuff I was dealing with personally. But my February break was completely unexpected, and made this whole hiatus a lot longer than I had anticipated. Toward the end of January, my uncle was having some serious dexterity issues; he was having difficulty walking, he was having some issues with his fingers, things like that. When he went to a specialist, they found a tumor growing at the top of his spine. Worse, it had made itself a part of the spinal cord.
The doctors were a little wary, but optimistic. The initial diagnosis was that it was benign, and, though it would be tough to clear out of the spine, it wouldn’t have a whole lot of long-term effects.
Then they found out they were wrong. When they sent for testing, they discovered not only was it cancerous, it was one of the most aggressive forms of cancer, and one for which there really isn’t any treatment. The ONLY positive in this situation is that this form of cancer doesn’t spread, so, if by some miracle they do get it into remission, it won’t show up later in some other part of the body.
Now, if you read my post explaining my last unexpected hiatus, some of this may sound a bit familiar, because apparently life is fun and fair like that. But I think that familiarity with the situation is part of what triggered some depression, and doing simple things, like hanging out with friends or going to work, felt like monumental tasks for a while. Plus, there was a lot of time spent entertaining family members and picking up/driving people to airports and hotels and a lot of driving about in general.
So a big part of this hiatus has been dealing with the emotions tagging along with all that. And then checking in with myself personally to see how I was affected and how I will move forward.
Why I’m Cutting Back While Moving Ahead:
I’ve decided that, while I want to continue blogging, I can’t dedicate as much time to it as I had been previously, obviously for family reasons, but for a few other as well.
I’ve known since the eighth grade that I wanted to be an author. I wanted to write YA Fantasy novels, and I still do. But, since I graduated from college, I’ve kind of lost sight of that, and haven’t been dedicating really any time to anything beyond brainstorming. But lately the ideas for both novels and short stories (like the ones in Language of Thorns) have just been popping up at all hours. I have over 500 texts that I’ve sent to myself of ideas for stories and characters and quotes, and I felt it was time for me to really give those ideas the attention they deserve.
That was a big part of the reason I had planned on taking March off. I wanted to really get into a habit of writing and make it a priority. And now that I have, that means it’ll probably cut into my blogging time a bit.
So what’s the bottom line for Ryann the Reader?
I’ll still be here reading and commenting on posts. And I’ll be writing a few of my own, just not as much as before. Book reviews will probably be cut back to the extremes: the ones I REALLY loved or the ones I REALLY didn’t, with maybe a few others thrown in. And of course discussion posts because they’re my favorite and I can’t say no to them.
As of right now, though, I plan to make 10 posts a month at the VERY MOST. It will probably end up being closer to only one or two posts a week, unless I find myself with a lot of bookish things to talk about.
AND, some of my posts may end up being more writing directed, maybe even a few things like character aesthetics and such. A lot of things I’m actually SUPER excited about!
If there are people out there who want to stop following me because of that, I 100% understand and don’t blame you at all. You deserve to follow people who write the content you love as often as you love to see it. But a huge thanks to those of you who stuck around for such a long silence, and thanks to everyone who continues to stick around! You guys are all so awesome, I am so, so grateful for each of you, and I can’t wait to continue our bookish friendships.